A song...is it any good?

[medicvet]

Bar to Bar Looking for You

Chorus: I've been to the bars in OKC
Iv'e been there, now tell me, have ou seen me?
I've danced and it dreamed
and somehow it seemed
I always knew
that I'd find you.


Verse 1: Wandering and drifting lonely along
Sometimes weak and sometimes strong
But deep down waiting for that call
For you to come and tear down that wall


Chorus



Verse 2: Endlessly drifting aimlessly along
wanting to but lacking courage to pick up the phone
I was nothing but makeup, tinsel, and tatters
'til you saw the woman within.....
Now nothing else matters


CHORUS


Verse 3:Once there was nothing
but shattered glimpses of pain
living alone...
shomehow you saw something to gain...
in me, and picked up the phone.


CHORUS: I've been to the bars in OKC
I've been there, now tell me, have you seen me?
I've danced and I've dreamed
and somehow it seemed..
I always knew...
that I'd find you.

[lycanox]

Looks great.
I only had the idea verse 3 doesn't run that smooth.
But that could just be the lack of the background music.
Any progress on that yet?

[medicvet]

well, I have a tune in my head..but what I was really wondering is it good enough to submit? and where would I do so?

Here is another song:

LOST

Chorus: Sometimes it comes
And sometimes it goes
This feeling I'm here
But nobody knows.


Verse 1: trying to find direction
stumbling blindly
take this dictation
cus I'm beggin for help kindly

CHORUS: sometimes it comes
and sometimes it goes
this feeling I'm here
but nobody knows.

Verse 2: Is here a place or a feeling?
I'm filled with fear
In the dark and reeling
Am I even here?

Chorus: sometimes it comes
and sometimes it goes
this feeling I'm here
but nobody knows.

Verse 3: Is there a way out?
Is there a way within?
I scream and I shout
And feel trapped in my skin.*


SOMETIMES IT COMES
AND SOMETIMES IT GOES
THIS FEELING I'M HERE
BUT NOBODY KNOWS.

[medicvet]

Here's the third verse of the first verse 'tweaked around with a bit.

THE ORIGINAL:Verse 3:
Once there was nothing
but shattered glimpses of pain
living alone...
shomehow you saw something to gain...
in me, and picked up the phone.


THE NEW ONE: verse 3:
One there was nothing to live for
My life was filled with pain
Until you came and opened that door
I stepped through and found your love to gain.


Is that any better? Would either of those two songs be good enough to send in?

[medicvet]

a stretch of fragrant pines and spruces
the sky darkens to neon, crisp and calm
the moon a white somber face, she
softly climbs through timid mist
the lake, a deep and flat jade
the grass gleams with drops of crystal
tears that hang on the pines
exuding their strong perfume
perhaps that of a mournful life?
no shadows are cast, everything seems
oddly with substance

the violet hills
banks of clouds
against a cooling sunset.

[medicvet]

giving this one a bump...anyone at all think this is any good at all?????????

[medicvet]

the start of another song??

crystal clear illusions
we're taken in by delusions
more tahn our dreams of death and pain
we pray and hope and begin again.

[UVsaturated]

I am wondering if you are going to be using any backwards masking of messages about Satan or Devil worship in your music?

You know, some day some despondent mother can tell a jury that her son committed suicide because he listened to the messages in MedicVet's songs!

I'm joking of course. I bet you do karaoke............

[raphnix]

I can't really figure about what's the title of those songs and who sung those.
I think you have to put the title Medicvet

[medicvet]

well the last one was more poem than song, but yeah, I do need to come up with some names for them.

And yes, I do karoake. ;)

EDIT: I went ahead and added titles to the two songs.

[UVsaturated]

Medic those just scream country music.

[medicvet]

I know, I know. (sigh)

I listen to all kinds of music, rock n roll, reggae, new agey music, and yes, country. I grew up listening to country to that is most of what is in my blood and most of what comes out when i write and sing songs.

[medicvet]

I can't even read music, and feel bad about that now, because otherwise would write some sheet music to the songs. I have a question..does anyone know of any legitimate sources that I could present my songs to in order to see if I could just sell the lyrics and let someone else use them to put to a tune and have someone far more talented than I could ever hope to be sing them. if the lyrics are that good..and yah, was thinking of trying to find where to send them to a country market...any help would be appreciated.