Intelligent Falling

[evilwill]

"Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory"

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

This has got to be the most pathetic attempt of the religious to make sense of something I have ever seen. It's a pure example of how the religious twist logic to suit their faith.

There is no evidence to this, the bible and physics having absolultely nothing to do with eachother. Everything these 'scientists' have said is based on assumptions, interpretations and personel beliefs.

At this moment I'm feeling quite fortunate to not be going through the American education system when there is crap like that going on. It's really quite unnerving that such a thing could even be considered as worthy of teaching young minds.

[DontBeAfraid]

I think the onion is a joke paper EW.... That article is just to poke more fun at ID.

ID was recently completely shot down by the board of directors at a local public school district(which I attended btw) in my area. all I can say is "thank god"!

[B.NyeTheUruk-Hai]

OMFG... The U.S.A. is going to Hell in a hand basket. I laughed my ass off reading this entire article, especially how gravity theory cannot apparently explain certain parts of scripture, but then I realized that these morons - and they ARE morons - are serious about this stupendously idiotic "theory". If I were a Christian, I would be embarrassed beyond belief. If I were an American, I would be embarrassed beyond belief. It stopped being funny when I realized that an entire generation of unsuspecting kids might possibly be taught this ass-backwards "thinking" which is one huge step backwards. This is sad, truly SAD...

[TheWorldJoker]

Guys, do you realize that the Onion is a satire news source? Don't take anything they say seriously...

[evilwill]

Ah, well I wasn't aware that the source was satirical, yet the whole idea of Intelligent Falling is complete crap anyway.

[B.NyeTheUruk-Hai]

We've been punk'd !!!

[nrj]

Um... Please, tell me that source's fake! I will never believe humanity has become that dumb.

[DontBeAfraid]

I guess I should have worded my response differently.... calling them satirical has only one meaning while calling them a joke paper left room for confusion.

[Sammy56]

Very funny article. Makes you wonder if there are people out there who are really that stupid.


At this moment I'm feeling quite fortunate to not be going through the American education system when there is crap like that going on. It's really quite unnerving that such a thing could even be considered as worthy of teaching young minds.
Well, maybe I'm lucky but most of the teachers at my school think that teaching intelligent design is crap. I can't speak for schools in other parts of the country, but I do live in Oklahoma, which is like the capital of the Bible Belt. I mean, they don't even sell real beer here and we are the only state in the union to have a ban on tattooing. So if one of the most conservative states thinks its crap, maybe the others will as well. Or it might just be wishful thinking. No idea.

[Philosopher Foelhe]

Next door neighbor! Hey!

But yeah, I'm from Arkansas, and if Oklahoma is the capitol of the Bible Belt, Arkansas is the slum... and we've never been taught creationism in school. In Jr. High, in History, they did teach us the origins of Christianity, but it's a major religion, so I don't have much problem with that.

And, ah, the Onion. I figured it was only a matter of time before somebody brought it up here on the site. I'd suggest you guys read it more often, it's really brilliant satire.

[Mezurashi]

my favourite article from The Onion was the comparison of how there were more North Americans who spoke Klingonese than Navaho (or was it Apache?).

The whole thing was well written, it nailed the 'feel' of those slick human interest articles we see so much of.

As well there was a series of 'daily essays' written by some accounts receivable nebbish who spoke in Gangsta. Forget what they were called but they were hilarious (especially one titled "Keep Yo' F**kin' S**t off my desk!").

And I live in fear that some state legislature (or provincial, Canada is by no means free of ignorance) will eventually try to pass a law making Pi equal to 3.0 so that geometry will be easier for someone's kids...

[Keeblergiant]

And I live in fear that some state legislature (or provincial, Canada is by no means free of ignorance) will eventually try to pass a law making Pi equal to 3.0 so that geometry will be easier for someone's kids...

Or because that's what the bible calls it...

[nrj]

I don't really think there is such a thing as "the Bible belt" in Europe. And if it does, I doub't it's anywhere near Sweden, or Scandinavia at all for that matter.

[evilwill]

Over in AUS there isn't even a debate. Creationism is not part of the science curriculum at all. Evolution is taught in Biology yet not as the right and only answer, simply the most likely one based on what we know.

You'll only find creationism in church owned schools in the specific religious subjects.

[Defiant Noquisi]

The new title for the thread "Intelligence Failing"! hehehe :Bott:

[B.NyeTheUruk-Hai]

Here's a new theory that's gaining popularity:



Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

August 17, 2005

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

[DontBeAfraid]

Wasnt this posted before?

[B.NyeTheUruk-Hai]

Was it? Sorry if it was. I thought it was posted over at Larger Than Life, but I didn't think that it was here as well. Oh well...

[DontBeAfraid]

I thought you posted it here.... I dont know.

[jeffweeder]

This is madness, "intelligent falling"
stupid barstards

[Philosopher Foelhe]

Goddammit, Bill.

Jeff, the "Intelligent Falling" thing is a mockup from The Onion, a satirical online news site. There has never, to the best of my knowledge, been anyone who claimed that gravity was caused by God's grace. Or at least, not anyone who had the organization skills to put together a movement for it.

And yes, this has been posted here before. I believe Evilwill was the one who posted it. And from what I recall, you both thought it was legit. So... what was the point of posting this here, exactly?

[PheonixRIsing]

Now, this is plain crazy. Sparks fly upwards because of energy. The friction from two objects causes a huge amount of kinetic energy to be released. With enough amounts, kinetic enrgy can manifest itself as electricity. Then it abruptly becomes dormant again. It takes a rocket to go to the moon. So, a spark will fly upward because the bouncing atoms richochets it upward. If you work in the metal forging job, you know that sparks fly in all sorts of directions, not just up.

[DontBeAfraid]

PF the reason that this was posted was to show how stupid ID is... Nobody thinks its real. Nobody thought it was real.... We all knew it was an article designed to parrallel the stupidity of ID... I just thought it was bill who did it the first time.

[Blu-ray]

Two threads the same merged together as one.

[iulian28ti]

HAHA! AND LOL!
LOL! AND HAHA!

it's an old thread but this "intelligent falling" is really "smart". LOL AGAIN! AGAIN LOL!

so god gets his finger up, and pushes us down. i think it's the middle finger, because he keeps fu|<ing us.