How many 8 year olds could you take?

**Cartesiantheater** · Apr 2nd, 2008 12:50 PM

Suppose you were a school teacher, and suppose the students attacked.

Let's say you have nothing but some chalk, an eraser, and a meter stick.

How many of the little bastards could you take before they overwhelmed you and beat you to the floor, grinding you into a pulp?

**Fut004** · Apr 2nd, 2008 1:14 PM

This is the Greatest Poll I've seen at AO so far.
Good work, CT.

How much does a Typical 8 yrs old kid weigh? Like 50 - 60lbs?
I think an average sized adult could toss them around 3 or 4 at a time, if you simply shove them away.

You keep pushing them away and then throw punches once you get one on one.
Man, I think it'd all come down to Endurance. How long could you keep up the pace of "Shove, Shove, Shove, Haymaker, Shove, Shove, Shove, HammerFist...etc"

On a good day, if I'm well rested, I can picture myself taking out an entire 3rd grade class. What's that, like 30 kids?

***DaSoviet*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 1:23 PM

Sorry for stealing you thunder CT.

But why not find out how many EXACTLY how many you could take.

Take The Test

**~~usohypocrisy~~** · Apr 2nd, 2008 1:33 PM

i tested at 27. however I usually go psycho with rage when I fight, so prolly 10 more on top of that number.

**Cartesiantheater** · Apr 2nd, 2008 2:36 PM

Originally Posted by DaSoviet

Sorry for stealing you thunder CT.

But why not find out how many EXACTLY how many you could take.

Take The Test

Ah, but five year olds are child's play compared to 8 year olds...

It says I could take on 31 5 year olds. But that's with no weapons.

Give me a meter stick, some chalk, and an eraser and I think I could take quite a few more.

***Smoke*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 2:40 PM

I could own 20 16 year olds with my fists because im am t3h l33t nezz

***olddragon*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 3:24 PM

No fight, once I yell and spank the shit out of one, the rest fall in line.
Fear is a great weapon.

**Eogz** · Apr 2nd, 2008 3:33 PM

I reckon lull the little sods in with a bit of kindness and then bump them off one by one, you can also get them fighting with each other, those that have cooties and those that don't. This way you could effectively do a whole school!

Love the thread!

**Cartesiantheater** · Apr 2nd, 2008 4:23 PM

Originally Posted by olddragon

No fight, once I yell and spank the shit out of one, the rest fall in line.
Fear is a great weapon.

In this thought experiment, although psychological factors exist, you won't be able to stop the kids from attacking you through fear alone. Perhaps they gather in the back of the room and try to plot a better way to overwhelm you?

How many could you take?

***DaSoviet*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 4:32 PM

I'd just dress as a Priest and tell them its time for confessions...

My score was 28. Probably a good thing.

***Nu Kua*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 6:11 PM

As a Mom who also has professional experience in the child care field, I know all of the little fucker's weak spots.
I feel I could comfortably take on at least 20, and more on a day I was pissed off already.

***DontBeAfraid*** · Apr 2nd, 2008 6:13 PM

I think I could take them all day long.... Not because Im super tuff or anything but because the average 8 year old can be finished off with one push kick to his gut or groin... And if Im already going to be fighting eight year olds there is no reason I shouldnt fight dirty.

**The Wicked Priest** · Apr 2nd, 2008 11:39 PM

23... those little bastards just kept on coming!

***Assassin X*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 4:57 AM

Wait a sec...

How many 8 year olds can a priest take? hehehe

***DaSoviet*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 5:05 AM

Originally Posted by Assassin X

Wait a sec...

How many 8 year olds can a priest take? hehehe

Thats a silly question. There is no limit for them...

***olddragon*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 7:41 AM

Originally Posted by Cartesiantheater

In this thought experiment, although psychological factors exist, you won't be able to stop the kids from attacking you through fear alone. Perhaps they gather in the back of the room and try to plot a better way to overwhelm you?

How many could you take?

That is simply impossible, even if they had super human courage,
once a stepping front kick completely smashes in a face or two it's over.
Let the crying begin.
According to the test I could take out 28, an I'm old!

***Nu Kua*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 9:00 AM

You know what, the odds would change considerably depending on where and how the kids were raised.
Taking on a lot of 8 year old suburbanites would be a lot easier than taking on kids who were raised in the hills, or in the inner city.

***Mezurashi*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 9:25 AM

I was once swarmed by a group of 14 year olds when I was a 'Counselor' type (this was over 20 years ago) - there were 35 of them and we were all on a camping type field trip. Most of them had rudimentary weapons as well.

I took 'em all out with my bare hands and feet. Oh, I had to go to court repeatedly to prove that I, a 21 year old Counselor, was in fact in imminent danger from 35 14 year old juvie's but I was not only acquitted, the families of those who tried to have me put away had to pay my court costs (about 55 k dollars by the time it was over).

I'm not proud that I broke arms, legs, noses, collarbones, fingers, toes and even a few ribs. I'm not proud that I threw several of them off the edge of a berm high enough to dislocate shoulders and/or hips. I'm not proud that my only wounds were three knife slash wounds and two puncture wounds. There is no Pride in such a terrible event.

Two of the kids almost died from what I did to them, one went into a coma for 3 weeks. of course those two were ringleaders and the most heavily armed, so I attacked them most ferociously.

8 year olds - after I threw the first couple out a window or into their compatriots they would learn - otherwise I start breaking limbs and twisting, because Pain is a great Moderator for the Fanatical.

***Skynet12*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 9:49 AM

30, though if they were american, 50 cos half of em would be obese and couldnt get close enough to evade my trajectory.

Sky

***Mystery*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 9:03 PM

18 five year olds. That seems like too many to me. They would totally ovetake me.

***Skygirl*** · Apr 3rd, 2008 11:05 PM

I could take on a large group (what does one call a group of 8 yr olds? A herd, gaggle, flock?), I would simply turn into Wicked Wedgie Woman, for she is wrathful http://www.pilkey.com/bookview.php?id=30

***Assassin X*** · Apr 4th, 2008 3:20 AM

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a 8 year old?

---edit---
Someone messaged me saying that was sick. Yes I guess it does sound really disturbing now that I reread it. Its suppose to be like the "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop" thing. Just incase anyone gets the wrong idea...again.

***Skynet12*** · Apr 4th, 2008 6:16 AM

Yes, I can see how that could be misinterpreted! :)

Sky

***DaSoviet*** · Apr 4th, 2008 6:34 AM

Originally Posted by Skynet12

30, though if they were american, 50 cos half of em would be obese and couldnt get close enough to evade my trajectory.

Sky

... God mate that cracked me up.

***DontBeAfraid*** · Apr 4th, 2008 6:51 AM

Originally Posted by olddragon

That is simply impossible, even if they had super human courage,

Ok, pretend that they got into the cracknip.

Originally Posted by mez

I was once swarmed by a group of 14 year olds when I was a 'Counselor' type (this was over 20 years ago) - there were 35 of them and we were all on a camping type field trip. Most of them had rudimentary weapons as well.

I took 'em all out with my bare hands and feet. Oh, I had to go to court repeatedly to prove that I, a 21 year old Counselor, was in fact in imminent danger from 35 14 year old juvie's but I was not only acquitted, the families of those who tried to have me put away had to pay my court costs (about 55 k dollars by the time it was over).

respek! I was gonna suggest that you really sorta got ripped off by the courts and that the families should have to compensate you further but then I imagined myself in your position and decided that getting to beat up their kids is all the reward you need.