National Coming Out Day

[Nu Kua]

I was going to do this with more style, some pictures maybe, and a carefully worded story. But, I'm just going to lay it on the line because my week just took off without me and now I need to catch up.

May 5, 2011, my family was sitting in the living room shooting the breeze and talking about nothing in particular. In a remark to something somebody said, I do not remember what, I replied "Well, that's gay!" My 16 year old son reprimanded me for that comment, as usual. I went into the usual spiel of how I don't hate gay people so therefore me using the term gay to describe anything isn't an insult. I even referred to my gay online friend (you can guess who) who just loved me for my sense of humor because he knows I do not have anything against him.
Anyway he and I went back and forth a few minutes before he said "Mom, I know what I am talking about, because I'm gay." Thinking he was joking, I didn't take him seriously until he ran off to his room and slammed the door.

I was stunned. Could he be serious, really? If so then I realized he must of been feeling very hurt, and that hurt me, for him. I gave him a few minutes before knocking on his door and he let me in. I asked him, are you serious? He said yes and began to cry. My heart poured out to him and I took him in my arms (as best a 5/3" woman can take a 6'1" boy into her arms) and told him that was Ok with me, I loved him very much, was very proud of him because he truly is an awesome kid, and he had nothing to be ashamed of and he never need doubt my support.

Later I, the Open-Minded Mother Who Knows The Ways of the World and Would Never Judge Someone On The Basis Of Their Sexual Orientation, later sat in the greenhouse, alone in shock when I found myself still wondering where I might have "gone wrong". I mentally slapped myself for going there but continuously explored why my reaction would of been that way. I am not a bigot, I do not care if you are homosexual or not. I care more about what you put out into the world. So why did my mind go there? I still ponder that- I think it is conditioning, maybe a product of my generation, ect.

My son does a lot of volunteer work, he is active in the local Boys and Girls Club, is up for Regional Youth of the Year, is chosen constantly to be a speaker at various charitable and social functions in the community. He is an average student to be honest, but at the same time is involved in club activities at school that he excels in. He is polite to elders, he has a wide open mind, he is beautiful, and I love him. I will always love him. there is nothing to be ashamed of, no need for any regrets.

My heart goes out to all the gay youth today who cannot open up to their parents and loved ones about who they really are. My heart goes out to anybody who feels ashamed for being a human being who might not be wired like most. My heart goes out to all who have been, are, or will be rejected for their sexual orientation. In love, though, my heart is overjoyed that there are other parents and loved ones and friends who do love their children unconditionally enough to accept them as they are, and those who upon learning the news, are brave enough to face their own inner prejudices and misunderstandings.

So... this is my Coming Out. I am the mother of a gay son, and I am proud to be one.

*edit
In deference to people who might lack the art of perception coupled with reading comprehension, I'd like to note that I was proud of my son before I learned he is gay.