Do people REALLY choose a mate based on whats inside? Or is outside decider?

[Assassin X]

I was watching a show online about about overweight people and during it I started thinking about relationships. If you think about couples, married or not, most are both skinny or both bigger. I would use fat but people are so hypersensitive its ridiculous (heck I am considered fat for some reason). You rarley see a mixed couple unless its:

A. Medical situation.
B. Fetish (some like big, some like skinny).
C. True Love, looking past the outside.

So C. got me to thinking during this show. Because we always see couples that are around the same weight, do we REALLY choose by whats on the inside? Alot of people say they do because choosing by the ouside isn't really love, its just lust and won't work out. But I think its rare for someone to really go by whats on the inside. I sometimes even do it myself.

Look at the person your with, or want to be with and "honestly" think about their body and then their inside and think which part you really were attracted to? And which one are you "more" attracted to? Are they skinny? Are they bigger?

Since I am still single I can't really do this but I have someone in mind. I never really thought about her body. I mean no ones perfect to some degree, you always look at another persons outside. I like to know peoples inside to see their true intention, probably from being cynical. From the outside shes actually not what anyone would think is sexy like were all bombarded with in the media. She not exactly skinny but shes not really fat either. She has had some pasta!

So what about you? Look at the person your with, or want to be with and "honestly" think about their body and then their inside and think which part you really were attracted to? And which one are you "more" attracted to? Are they skinny? Are they bigger?

I also will guess its more of an American thing too.

[grendel 13]

i'll just say that it is what's on the OUTSIDE that attracts you, but it is what's on the INSIDE that keeps you.

[DontBeAfraid]

Im not nice to fat people. This is a defect in my own personality though.....

[Fut004]

i'll just say that it is what's on the OUTSIDE that attracts you, but it is what's on the INSIDE that keeps you.

Exactly.

People are shallow. Nobody wants to admit it, but it's true...

If you were at a club and you saw some Fat,Retarded Dibbly, would you go up and talk to them? Probaly not. You might not refer to them as a "Fat, Retarded Dibbly" but chances are you'll go talk to the attractive person instead.

Im not nice to fat people.

Hahaha

[Demonskates]

Id say a little of both,ive dated a few girls who were not so slim,but were very pretty and had great personalitys,but i will say,that 9 out of 10 times,im hitting on the skinny little brunette or red head gals at bars.
Humans sole purpose is to procreate,to continue the race,so when you see a pretty girl,a guy goes nuts,almost like being on crack.He sees somthing beutiful,and thinks that she has good genes,that she will be a good bearer of children,and pass on those beutiful traits to their offspring.
Did you know that Babys do the same thing?They respond favorably to pretty women,and less favorably to an ugly or fat one.
So a good portion of it is Dna programming.We are programed to want beautiful women.If there was no attraction,there would be alot less procreation.
That keeps us going like bunnys,lol.

[Perfectionist]

The "ideal mate" has both !!

You like her for what she has on the outside ..... and the person she is on the inside ..... in more ways than one !

[Assassin X]

I just had a thought....what are cannibals attracted to? Is the outside more appealing then the inside? I bet the inside is more appealing because it taste better raw or cooked! :watches as people stare on with hanging jaws: :amaz:

[Foreign Mathematic]

I can be shallow sometimes. I tend to be attracted to males who are tall and have a fair build...preferably a sharp face too. But I tend to be friends with many boys first rather than saying I like them and then asking them out. When I'm friends, I get to know their personality and then i choose which I'd like to go farther with. Though physical attraction is good, personally mental attraction is a more dominant thing with me. If I met a man who was romantic, intelligent, really sensitive, and really considerate, I wouldn't care one bit about his looks. I absolutely love the nurse to patient relationship,too. I love making people happy! He could be fat and ugly(just not mentally retarded) just as long as I'm appreciated and loved very dearly.

[Cherisa]

Most people go for the outside that is why things never work out. By the time you learn what's on the inside it's typically to late. Beautiful women are typically narcissicts, who are only concerned with status and wealth.ie golddiggers...They are usually attracted to older more powerful men who can finance everything.. That is why you see some really hot babe with some guy who is soso.
(before everyone jumps my shit, I am NOT saying ALL)

Also, (some) handsome men are usually shallow, arrogant, assholes.
Even if you go by the inside , it probably won't work out either .lol

[TC]

Personally I picked a mate after running the gauntlet of one nighters, and for totally selfish reasons.....one who could push all the right sexual buttons, and enjoys doing so. Everything else plays second....

[Perfectionist]

Most people go for the outside that is why things never work out.

True, but that is what dating is all about ..... people don't just marry a person 5 minutes after they met them because they are hot ..... they get to know them first .....

By the time you learn what's on the inside it's typically to late.

Yup, it's just that during the dating phase both the man and woman are "on their best behaviour" and don't really show their true colours .....

Beautiful women are typically narcissicts, who are only concerned with status and wealth.ie golddiggers...

Very True ! But this is mainly due to men who treat them in a certain way since childhood which kinda programs them to become like that .....

They are usually attracted to older more powerful men who can finance everything... That is why you see some really hot babe with some guy who is soso.

I'd say it is more that older, rich men go for the hot babes as they have the big house, fancy car etc and need a trophy wife to complete the package ..... and the babes are happy to comply due to the benefits they receive !

Also, (some) handsome men are usually shallow, arrogant, assholes.

No I'm not !!

[liberdave]

Im not nice to fat people. This is a defect in my own personality though.....

We've noticed DBA, god how we've noticed.

[The Silence]

I'm not exactly prince charming and my girfriend Iakka is the most beautiful girl in the world to me. So I guess it depends on what you have in common and greatly on the person.

[B.NyeTheUruk-Hai]

If you were at a club and you saw some Fat,Retarded Dibbly, would you go up and talk to them?

HAHAHAHAA!!! "Dibbly"... That's awesome!

I just had a thought....what are cannibals attracted to? Is the outside more appealing then the inside?

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! This is already a great thread! Have you SEEN any cannibal documentaries on the Discovery Channel or TLC? It's GOT to be what's on the inside cuz those biatches have pancake boobs that flap in the wind. NOT attractive at all...

Personally I picked a mate after running the gauntlet of one nighters, and for totally selfish reasons.....one who could push all the right sexual buttons, and enjoys doing so. Everything else plays second....

HAHAHAHA!!! How did I know that you were going to say this, SR?

Yup, it's just that during the dating phase both the man and woman are "on their best behaviour" and don't really show their true colours .....

I always joke with people about this, but I really think that it's true: You know that you've got the right girl when you can belch and fart in front of them without feeling embarrassed. My wife doesn't exactly love it when I belch, but she can fart with the best of them!

[grendel 13]

[ My wife can fart with the best of them! [/INDENT]

mine too!! and her burps are getting louder than mine. i need some practice.

[TC]

Mutual farts are the standard for which all long term relationships are based, I push the envelope with fanning the bed sheets towards my wife's side.

[Defiant Noquisi]

Oh hell! I got the insides AND the outsides with my guy! He's sweet, intelligent, funny, talented in bed and out, and he's fuqing hotter than a habanero! He was a semi-pro pitcher in Mexico, had to retire the arm and took up marathon running which he did until about 5 years ago when he hit 45. He feels bad because he can't go for hours because he's recovering from pneumonia. I'm actually grateful. <insert kitty purrs here>

I'm a lucky woman, he laughs hysterically and always seems to have something funny to say when I belch or fart. He sounds so cute with that accent. Pinche berlon!

[TheAvatar]

I think Grendle said it right. It's whats on the outside that attracts you first. It's the physical attraction that makes you want to learn about the inner attraction. By that I mean, it's our animal instincts that make us look in the first place, then our heart jumps in and we want to know more. Being 45 I certainly do not look like I did when I was 20. Nature has a way of creeping the flaws in on you when you aren't looking. But the heart has a way of seeing those flaws as part of the whole and not as flaws.
As far as choosing a mate, it's the physical that gets you started. Keeping a mate takes alot more.

[Perfectionist]

Given the choice of a babe who farts ..... and a babe who doesn't, and is a little more ladylike and demure and elegant and sophisticated etc ..... the farting babes would lose out every time !

[Traveler]

My folks were farmers so I think a bit of that rubbed off on me. OK perhaps a lot.

When going through the dating game and looking for a soul mate I always had the end product in mind. The kids. Physical characteristics did play a big part but I always made sure that I listened very carefully to what words came out the mouth as well. Economics and family back ground were never in the equation.

As it turns out I feel that I chose well. The kids are all big and strong and have some brains as well. Over the years life has thrown all hell at us but we are still going well. Been married 21 years now, still can’t figure out where the time went. Passed so fast.

[Cartesiantheater]

SInce it hasn't been said yet...

Do people REALLY choose a mate based on whats inside?

Not the FIRST time they get married...

[Skynet12]

Way to go, CT!

[TheAvatar]

SInce it hasn't been said yet...



Not the FIRST time they get married...

I've been married twice...and you are so right!

[Jupiter]

Well, I'm not into fat people. Apart from that, I'm very interested in good-looking women, and the good-looking women who have awesome personalities are great.

[Perfectionist]

As it turns out I feel that I chose well. The kids are all big and strong and have some brains as well.

Are you saying your wife is big and strong ?? I prefer women who are petite