If you mind foul language I recommend you skip this one. However, if you want to laugh your ass off - and have a little fun with the site we run, Push play now.
We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save
something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save
those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet.
What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't
even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to
care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?
I'm
getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking
Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these
white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this
country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the
world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a
shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the
abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what
they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat.
They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally
inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
Besides,
there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet.
The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The
planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been
here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the
arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years.
We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand?
And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two
hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we
have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow
we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball
that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
The planet has been
through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse
than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics,
continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the
magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of
bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal
waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And
we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a
difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere.
WE ARE!
We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going
away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that.
Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be
here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another
closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The
planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
You
wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are
frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You
wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City
or Armenia or
a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake
rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how
about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right
next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the
living room.
The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time
after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself,
'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and
the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true
that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply
incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The
earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of
the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its
children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned
from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know
how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old
egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.
So,
the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I
think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to
be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt
with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way,
the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism.
The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the
planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky
species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem
vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating
and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this
first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these
creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them
vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might
come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little
reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
Well, that's a
poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't
worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think
we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher
order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron.
The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it
doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For
a little while.
